I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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