That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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