wrigley field is MILF paradise
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
