I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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