I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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