is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
