She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
