Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
