Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
