I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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