Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
