Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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