Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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