This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
