roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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