I wanna passion pit in your ass
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
