I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
