My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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