i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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