dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
