I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize