I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
