You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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