five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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