My nipple is on Facebook.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
