The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
