Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
