Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
