She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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