No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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