: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
