would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
