great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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