I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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