Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
