So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
