$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
