OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
