If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was not drunk enough for that final.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
