OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
