All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I didn't notice because vodka
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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