New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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