I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
