you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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