hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
