Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
