Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize