i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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