Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
