So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My dick has a subreddit
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
