is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
