I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I love how my cats smell like pot.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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