This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
