I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
