who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
