You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
