I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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