I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize