Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
