why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
