Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
