Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
