We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
